More about love....
This chapter of my life was, at the time the greatest and most frustrating, and now, one of the most difficult to talk about.
In the last post I mentioned a time when I broke a young woman's heart. Where to begin. In 2nd grade, or more accurately, the 2nd grade Sunday School class, I first met Roxanne Stokley. Her mother, a single mom, brought her 2 daughters to church that day. Roxanne is virtually the same age as me. The first time I met her she got sick in class and vomited. I remember me and a friend going into childhood panic mode to get on top of a table to get away from the puddle.
The family chose our church, the Hillsboro Assembly of God, as thier home church and due to the age similarity, I spent a lot of time with Roxanne. At least on Sunday's. Wednesday night was "family night". The adults had a little worship service of their own. The girls had Missionettes, kinda a christian girls scouts if you will, and the boys had Royal Rangers, a boy scout like club where the bible comes first instead of just being a badge.
It was in Royal Rangers, in a class taught by my father, Dean Malakowski, that I first remember giving my heart to the Lord. When my dad died, Royal Rangers became very important to me. Bob Killin, the commander of our outpost, as a close friend of my parents, stepped up to make sure my brother and I never missed an event due to finances. This is something I never knew at the time. One time there was a canoeing trip planned and David and I were the only kids who showed up at the church that day. Bob still loaded us up and away the 3 of us went for a day of canoes on the lake.
I advanced from Straight Arrows, Buckaroos, Pioneers, into Trail Blazers. My mom remarried and my dad joined Royal Rangers as a commander. One day, I was about 16, he mentions that with Youth Pastor Andy joining the church we had a youth group if I was interested. The first night I visited I was in my Royal Rangers uniform. I never put it on again. Upon joining the youth group I found I was one of only a few kids. Roxanne was one of those already in the group. Slowing the youth group grew, and a core group of kids came to be. Steve Rutledge, Scottie Harms, Kim Pegg, Roxanne Stokley, and Dwayne Malakowski. Life went on and our core group fluxuated, new friends joined, some good friends moved on. 3 other boys and I became very good friends, I recall a shared infatuation with "Red Dawn" and for a time we were the Wolverines. One day Steve asked me to share if there was one particular girl I was interested in and I shared that Roxanne had definately caught my eye.
All my childhood I had 3 distinct groups of friends, and never did they cross. My neighborhood friends, lived in the same culdesac as me, but did not attend my church, and were all too young to be part of my group at school. My school friends were my age, but none of them lived anywhere near me or attended my church. My church was in a completely different town than my home and school. All my church friends attended the same schools and as such were friends all week long, where I joined in only on church events.
As it happens, none of the guys in my youth group had really considered Roxanne as a potential romance, until I mentioned that she was the only one I was interested in. Suddenly everyone was taking a longer look at Roxanne. One by one each of the guys in my tight circle of friends began dating, and eventually, going steady with her. Because I was outside the Hillsboro crowd I usually found out that Scottie was seeing Roxanne after they had already broken up. I found out the Scottie had broken up after Mark was already dating her. Through it all I remained on the outside, and never strayed from my singular desire to be in their shoes. No other girls were even worth considering.
One of the things I remember is hearing adult family and friends comment on what a perfect couple Roxanne and I would be should we ever hook up. Yet even after things calmed down and I finally felt comfortable enough to make my feelings known, our relationship still remained that us just a friendship. I will never know if it was because of my afore mentioned geekiness, the facg that I looked like a walking skeleton, my lack of wine and dine attitude. I my never know if she felt something mutual or what I could have done differently. In retrospect, I don't believe that God actively chooses our mate for us, but He is interested in who we are mated with. I thank God daily that He allowed Harmony to come back into my life.
During these youth group years a young lady name Robyn Roth joined the group, and quickly fit into the core group. For reasons I don't understand she fell in love with me, and unlike me, wasn't shy about making it known. As faithful as I as to Roxanne, Robyn was just as faithful to me. But I had made a concious choice that I would wait for Roxanne for as long as it took. As a result, Robyn's affection for me literally fell on deaf ears. I am truly sorry, I never intended to hurt her. Robyn was one of my best friends in those years. Since leaving the church, I have heard through family and friends just how bitter she was for a while about the situation.
On to college, Roxanne left Oregon to attend bible college in Washington. Throughout I maintained our friendship with letters and emails. Up north she began going steady with someone, while I waited down south and did my best to only be a friend. Roxanne returned to the church and began taking over the children's ministry. On multiple occasions we had reason to confirm through conversation, blatant or subtle, that my feelings for her remained true.
Finally the fateful day arrived and our Pastor stood on the stage and announced that that very day Greg Meeuwsen and Roxanne Stokley has asked him to honor them by performing their marriage. That same night Roxanne came to me and personally apologized that she didn't get a chance to tell me in person before the Pastor has spoken.
I became a little depressed, but remained true, 'til the day I witnessed as she stood and spoke her vows. In the end she made her choice, and to this day remains happy and true to Greg. I could ask for nothing else than to see my first true love happily married and in the service of our Lord.
What does this have to do, if anything, with my marriage to Harmony. When I spoke "until death do us part" I have the track record to prove I meant it, and I mean it still.
In the last post I mentioned a time when I broke a young woman's heart. Where to begin. In 2nd grade, or more accurately, the 2nd grade Sunday School class, I first met Roxanne Stokley. Her mother, a single mom, brought her 2 daughters to church that day. Roxanne is virtually the same age as me. The first time I met her she got sick in class and vomited. I remember me and a friend going into childhood panic mode to get on top of a table to get away from the puddle.
The family chose our church, the Hillsboro Assembly of God, as thier home church and due to the age similarity, I spent a lot of time with Roxanne. At least on Sunday's. Wednesday night was "family night". The adults had a little worship service of their own. The girls had Missionettes, kinda a christian girls scouts if you will, and the boys had Royal Rangers, a boy scout like club where the bible comes first instead of just being a badge.
It was in Royal Rangers, in a class taught by my father, Dean Malakowski, that I first remember giving my heart to the Lord. When my dad died, Royal Rangers became very important to me. Bob Killin, the commander of our outpost, as a close friend of my parents, stepped up to make sure my brother and I never missed an event due to finances. This is something I never knew at the time. One time there was a canoeing trip planned and David and I were the only kids who showed up at the church that day. Bob still loaded us up and away the 3 of us went for a day of canoes on the lake.
I advanced from Straight Arrows, Buckaroos, Pioneers, into Trail Blazers. My mom remarried and my dad joined Royal Rangers as a commander. One day, I was about 16, he mentions that with Youth Pastor Andy joining the church we had a youth group if I was interested. The first night I visited I was in my Royal Rangers uniform. I never put it on again. Upon joining the youth group I found I was one of only a few kids. Roxanne was one of those already in the group. Slowing the youth group grew, and a core group of kids came to be. Steve Rutledge, Scottie Harms, Kim Pegg, Roxanne Stokley, and Dwayne Malakowski. Life went on and our core group fluxuated, new friends joined, some good friends moved on. 3 other boys and I became very good friends, I recall a shared infatuation with "Red Dawn" and for a time we were the Wolverines. One day Steve asked me to share if there was one particular girl I was interested in and I shared that Roxanne had definately caught my eye.
All my childhood I had 3 distinct groups of friends, and never did they cross. My neighborhood friends, lived in the same culdesac as me, but did not attend my church, and were all too young to be part of my group at school. My school friends were my age, but none of them lived anywhere near me or attended my church. My church was in a completely different town than my home and school. All my church friends attended the same schools and as such were friends all week long, where I joined in only on church events.
As it happens, none of the guys in my youth group had really considered Roxanne as a potential romance, until I mentioned that she was the only one I was interested in. Suddenly everyone was taking a longer look at Roxanne. One by one each of the guys in my tight circle of friends began dating, and eventually, going steady with her. Because I was outside the Hillsboro crowd I usually found out that Scottie was seeing Roxanne after they had already broken up. I found out the Scottie had broken up after Mark was already dating her. Through it all I remained on the outside, and never strayed from my singular desire to be in their shoes. No other girls were even worth considering.
One of the things I remember is hearing adult family and friends comment on what a perfect couple Roxanne and I would be should we ever hook up. Yet even after things calmed down and I finally felt comfortable enough to make my feelings known, our relationship still remained that us just a friendship. I will never know if it was because of my afore mentioned geekiness, the facg that I looked like a walking skeleton, my lack of wine and dine attitude. I my never know if she felt something mutual or what I could have done differently. In retrospect, I don't believe that God actively chooses our mate for us, but He is interested in who we are mated with. I thank God daily that He allowed Harmony to come back into my life.
During these youth group years a young lady name Robyn Roth joined the group, and quickly fit into the core group. For reasons I don't understand she fell in love with me, and unlike me, wasn't shy about making it known. As faithful as I as to Roxanne, Robyn was just as faithful to me. But I had made a concious choice that I would wait for Roxanne for as long as it took. As a result, Robyn's affection for me literally fell on deaf ears. I am truly sorry, I never intended to hurt her. Robyn was one of my best friends in those years. Since leaving the church, I have heard through family and friends just how bitter she was for a while about the situation.
On to college, Roxanne left Oregon to attend bible college in Washington. Throughout I maintained our friendship with letters and emails. Up north she began going steady with someone, while I waited down south and did my best to only be a friend. Roxanne returned to the church and began taking over the children's ministry. On multiple occasions we had reason to confirm through conversation, blatant or subtle, that my feelings for her remained true.
Finally the fateful day arrived and our Pastor stood on the stage and announced that that very day Greg Meeuwsen and Roxanne Stokley has asked him to honor them by performing their marriage. That same night Roxanne came to me and personally apologized that she didn't get a chance to tell me in person before the Pastor has spoken.
I became a little depressed, but remained true, 'til the day I witnessed as she stood and spoke her vows. In the end she made her choice, and to this day remains happy and true to Greg. I could ask for nothing else than to see my first true love happily married and in the service of our Lord.
What does this have to do, if anything, with my marriage to Harmony. When I spoke "until death do us part" I have the track record to prove I meant it, and I mean it still.
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